2015 - New Year New Goals

Perhaps being 40 is the realization that although mentally you may feel 20, physically your body will constantly remind you that you are, in fact, not 20.  And on most occasions, your body may actually attempt to force you into believing that it is more like 50 or 60, even though that is completely not true.  So, with this ripe (old) age, I have decided that trying to exercise, lose weight, engage in race training, and recover it can't be done the same way it was when I was 20, or even 30 for that matter.

Part of heading into 2015 was the realization that I was in fact well distanced from my athletic past.  A two year stint on the DL for disk herniation and 4 broken vertebrae had left me beyond my worse for weight gain and inactivity levels.  Perhaps the continued back pain was a correlation between the lack of activity, weight gain, and stress on the joints?  Hmmm.... it was seriously time to stop whining and get moving - even if that moving wasn't what it was a few years ago.

I have started 2015 with some specific and detailed weight loss and activity goals, that are achievable in the correct time frame - healthy weight loss occurs at no more than 1-2 lbs per week, if it is going to stay off and become part of a permanent lifestyle change.  This means that I have to accept that losing 45 lbs is going to take me AT LEAST 22-45 weeks - Hello Jenn - you didn't put it on overnight, it's not going to come off in a month - FACT!

Adding fitness to an unstable back also means that I am going to have bad days - days where I know I have done too much.  This means, that no matter what the workout program may say for that day - I have to accept a day (or even two) off.  Pushing beyond the pain isn't going to make this 40 (really more like 65) year old back feel like a 20 year old back, it's just going to make it worse: ACCEPT it Gordon, you may have to accept the sprint distance as the new half iron distance.

All of these goals are things that are a working progress towards feeling more fit and more healthy in 2015 - getting back to where I used to be before spending too much time on the DL.  These are also goals that my growing ABC's are going to see and realize that they are part of life, no matter the age. That healthy goal setting, eating, and activity are important to bodies of all ages and a skill they are going to need for a lifetime.

With the changes I have for 2015 I have changed the ABC kids blog title to include the more active approach our family is taking in the coming year.  You will see more of our posts about how we are staying active, incorporating health and fitness into our daily lives - especially for a family who has individuals in nearly 3 different centuries - which is going to pose challenges of its own.  Hopefully these stories will inspire you to keep on moving or to stay moving; and to realize that if you are a mom who has put her fitness goals on the back burner while your little ones are getting going, you can get all of those goals back and still juggle it all.  Cheers to our new 2015 :)

And so the 'girly' issues begin..... (or continue)....

I think that I knew 9 years ago when Dawn and I started talking about wanting children, that there were going to be bumps in the road for that child as they endured the school age years.  I expected and prepared myself for dealing with the 'there may be derogatory remarks made because he/she has two mom; kids can be mean about others with atypical families; there may need to be some ability to find other families like our own.'  And I wasn't naive enough to think that there wouldn't be the usual 'picking' comments made about wearing glasses, or having braces; but I think that I had expected those to happen near middle school, and I had lots of time to prepare.

Unfortunately what I wasn't ready for is that all of this stuff would start sooner - much sooner.  At the ripe old age of 7, and in second grade, I am faced with a child in tears:


      "I didn't eat lunch today because I didn't have anyone to sit next to.  There is this 'popular' table and I just don't get invited to sit there."

      "No one plays with me at recess, they called me a baby for having pigtails in my hair today."

      "The girls were all coming up with silly names for each other and two of them said mine is 'fatty' and it made me feel really sad."

What? This is happening in 2nd grade? Did I miss something?  Yes, I know, kids are cruel, they will find ways to put others down, but in today's day and age of eliminating bullying - why does it seem to me that it is happening to the younger population.  And where are these kids learning these behaviors? That it is okay and acceptable to use derogatory terms to label other kids - haven't we continued to teach the golden rule?????
 
        DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU'D HAVE DONE TO YOU

Because in this house there are two major things that I repeat over and over again - treat others as you'd like to be treated - AND - if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.  No, my kids aren't perfect, and frankly in my own four walls they can't handle doing this to each other.  But in public and towards other children, we go out of our way to reprimand the moments that they aren't following these basic rules.  Isn't everyone else too?

Yes, I know that our kids re going to get picked on.  Cassie is like a mini-me, and I can recall all to well being called fat, chunky, chubby, and fluffy.  And hopefully I can teach her to have the strength to tell someone that what she is saying to her is not nice and it hurts feelings.  That she can have the strength to tell someone not to take her library book away from her.  That she can have the strength to know that she can be the better person by smiling back or turning the the other way.  She is a beautiful, caring, compassionate young lady and hopefully the reinforcement she gets from her moms will help her to be empowered enough to stand up for her amazing self and for those around her who don't feel like they have the confidence to do the same.

I am posting the photos from our dance costume try-on's tonight, a stressful part of dance as Cassie was not feeling so confident in her body or in her dancing abilities after today's school events.  Hopefully the more she hears the good things, she will gain the confidence to know that she is a special young lady.

My goofy girl - tap costume

These are going to be cute for their tap song

Brooklyn showing off her costume for the Lilo and Stitch Hula song

Brooklyn showing off her costume for her Lilo and Stitch Hula song

Look out!!

Cassie in her Jazz costume (shake your tail feathers from Chicken Little) and Brooklyn in her ballet costume (The Cinderella song where the mice are making her dress)

Enough with the broken back already!

So..... I've despite all that I have been through with this little back of mine, in the last couple of weeks, I have tried to take on the 'be positive and you will feel positive' approach.

Today - it's just not working!

On October 10th I was in a hurry to get the girls some new clothes for school when I flew down the wooden stairs, missing one and landing just below the center of my back on the step behind me.  Yes, there were lots of choice colorful words, lots of tears, and about :30 minutes of time to get off the floor.

Two ER visits and lots of pain later - I had broken the transverse processes of the first four lumbar vertebrae of mine.  Wow, really? I broke my back? Are you sure?  What now???  What about my job? My active kids? My triathlon career?  MY LIFE????

The right side trauma led to a whole cascade of trauma on an already herniated left side of my spine, plagued with SI joint disfunction and about 2 years of sciatia so bad I was sure that the bones of my lower legs were broken.  Am I going to have to live like this forever? Are there options for treatment? Is the pain ever going to go away????

Yes, if you find an awesome anesthesiologist names Dr. Pulai, he will conduct an RFA on your left side to get ride of the constant sciatia.  And all of a sudden, three weeks post procedure, I am pain free for the first time in 2 years...... had I only known before I did my last Ironman when all of these issues began.....

But the stabbing pains still exist in the right lumbar spot of my back.  By the end of the day of teaching 5 classes and walking across most of campus.... I am suffering.  And so I turned to the internet:

            "Transverse process fractures are rare, they typically do not require surgical intervention, however, they can be exceedingly painful and take significant periods of time to heal because of the massive muscles attached to the bone."

Well, awesome, sign me right up.

So here I am, 15 weeks post fall/break of back, and my vertebrae are still broken.  The right side of my back is still exceedingly painful.  And I don't have any answers about the hows or whens of doing things.  (Unfortunately the researcher in me has already pounded the medical journals for answers. Some say rest and wear a brace, some say you can resume activity 4 weeks post injury to tolerance because the bones will never re-fuse, some say to be pain free before returning to activity.....).  I will get through this. It sucks.  The mental scope of realizing that I honestly may never run or bike again at the level I had before is killing me.  Feeling like I can't keep up with the kids at the end of an energetic day is devastating.  I hope that I can compete again, I miss it dearly. But it is far more than that - it's going through a day of my life not feeling that someone is stabbing me in the back; it's saying yes to skating or sledding or pig piling on mommy.

This is just a hiccup in general scheme of things, and I will get through it.  I will get to be active again... maybe not tomorrow or the next day - but someday. I just have to have the mental strength to get me through the days like these (I already have an amazing wife and three kids who keep me motivated!).

Moments to always remember....

This is a snowman kit.  Some of you have seen it before, a nifty little plastic container shaped like a clear snowman who's inside contents are that of everything you may need to decorate your finished lump of packed snow.  The perfect sized plastic carrot for the nose, 8 or 9 large black buttons for eyes or buttons, a scarf to keep him warm (or maybe colder, warm would be bad), and even the perfect pipe.  The ABC's were blessed enough to get three of these kits this year from Auntie Terri and Auntie Kris, each with a different colored scarf tied to the outside, perfect for knowing who's was who's. 

So here it was, the third day of January, and the "Big First Snow Storm of the Year" had finally stopped dropping the powdery white stuff early enough that morning for everyone to go and play.  Oh, of course school was cancelled (it's not like we live out west where the trudge through everything).  Two of the girls from down the street asked to come up and sled on the little bump of a hill in our front yard, so we had 5 little snow bunnies outside while Mama was in her glory snow-blowing the driveway.  It took about 20 minutes before the three 5 year olds wanted to come in (it was, after all, only about 10 degrees out).  Cassie and her friend Kyra, however, remained outside in pure heaven.

After about 5 minutes both girls popped their heads in the front door and said they were 'thirsty,'' so I supplied them with a cup of water as they stood on the front rug.  "Mom, can we take our water outside?  We might be more thirsty?"  Sure, whatever you need, put them on the porch, just go it quickly and shut the door, its flipping cold out!

It took about 15 minutes before both girls returned.  "We drank all of our water, can we have some more?" More water and out the door.  (settle the three 5 year olds with something that all three of them can do).  

And Cassie and Kyra return again rather quickly this time.  Cassie pipe's up, "Uh, mom, I think we have a problem.  You see, we wanted to make a snowman.  So we asked Mama, but she said that the snow was too powdery, it needed to be wetter.  So we took the snowman kit and added some snow and then added our water to it, because the snow is to powdery.  But now we can't get our snowman out."

And now, as a parent, you need to explain to your young child the purpose of a 'snowman kit' with a straight face despite wanting to burst into pant wetting laughter.  "oh my dear ladies," I replied, "The snowman kit was not intended to make you a snowman if you added snow to it.  The container is filled with all of the things you need to decorate a snowman AFTER you have made one, by rolling large balls in the yard.  I am so sorry you though that this would allow you to add snow and have a snowman pop out of it."  

Yes, there were two very disturbed faces.  And a third twisted face that was still trying very hard to contain the humor of the issue.  "Oh, okay.  but the snow isn't right." was Cassie's response with a sad face.  Kyra whispered to her.  Suddenly they both thrust their cups at me and in unison said "Can we have some more water???"  "Um, no, you may not pour water all over the snow in our entire front yard so that you can make a snowman.  There will be more snow storms this season, and lots of snowman making.  Go hop back on your sleds for a while."  

Paaaauuuuusssseeeeee 

"Okay!" They piled out the door.