So..... I've despite all that I have been through with this little back of mine, in the last couple of weeks, I have tried to take on the 'be positive and you will feel positive' approach.
Today - it's just not working!
On October 10th I was in a hurry to get the girls some new clothes for school when I flew down the wooden stairs, missing one and landing just below the center of my back on the step behind me. Yes, there were lots of choice colorful words, lots of tears, and about :30 minutes of time to get off the floor.
Two ER visits and lots of pain later - I had broken the transverse processes of the first four lumbar vertebrae of mine. Wow, really? I broke my back? Are you sure? What now??? What about my job? My active kids? My triathlon career? MY LIFE????
The right side trauma led to a whole cascade of trauma on an already herniated left side of my spine, plagued with SI joint disfunction and about 2 years of sciatia so bad I was sure that the bones of my lower legs were broken. Am I going to have to live like this forever? Are there options for treatment? Is the pain ever going to go away????
Yes, if you find an awesome anesthesiologist names Dr. Pulai, he will conduct an RFA on your left side to get ride of the constant sciatia. And all of a sudden, three weeks post procedure, I am pain free for the first time in 2 years...... had I only known before I did my last Ironman when all of these issues began.....
But the stabbing pains still exist in the right lumbar spot of my back. By the end of the day of teaching 5 classes and walking across most of campus.... I am suffering. And so I turned to the internet:
"Transverse process fractures are rare, they typically do not require surgical intervention, however, they can be exceedingly painful and take significant periods of time to heal because of the massive muscles attached to the bone."
Well, awesome, sign me right up.
So here I am, 15 weeks post fall/break of back, and my vertebrae are still broken. The right side of my back is still exceedingly painful. And I don't have any answers about the hows or whens of doing things. (Unfortunately the researcher in me has already pounded the medical journals for answers. Some say rest and wear a brace, some say you can resume activity 4 weeks post injury to tolerance because the bones will never re-fuse, some say to be pain free before returning to activity.....). I will get through this. It sucks. The mental scope of realizing that I honestly may never run or bike again at the level I had before is killing me. Feeling like I can't keep up with the kids at the end of an energetic day is devastating. I hope that I can compete again, I miss it dearly. But it is far more than that - it's going through a day of my life not feeling that someone is stabbing me in the back; it's saying yes to skating or sledding or pig piling on mommy.
This is just a hiccup in general scheme of things, and I will get through it. I will get to be active again... maybe not tomorrow or the next day - but someday. I just have to have the mental strength to get me through the days like these (I already have an amazing wife and three kids who keep me motivated!).
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